Who do we know that’s handsome and charming
Yet, on raising his eyebrows can look quite alarming
Who alone can the World’s problems unravel
While he drives his Jag and scoffs at free-travel ?
Crowd reply: “JACK” !
Who tonight, at ninety two
Pretends that he’s eighty to me and you
Who feigns that he’s sick – and then starts to grouse
So Lisa can come running - and clean up his house ?
I can see him now – he’s rubbing his belly
With thoughts of Formula One on his brand new telly
He’s going to get healthy and turn Vegetarian
So tell me, - who’s our favourite octogenarian ?
Yet who do we love and wish only well
Who’s our pal that we think is swell
Who is the auld fellow that we love the most
And to whom shall we raise our glasses for a special birthday toast?